BLOG POST: Freedom DURING Passover preparations - My Transformation
I’m writing this today because maybe something here will help someone, somewhere, who is in the throes of Passover preparations, perhaps feeling stressed, anxious, drained, frustrated or resentful.
You see, I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now. A couple days before the holiday of Passover, while many of you are meticulously cleaning your homes, I am actually feeling quite relaxed.
Relaxed but excited, grateful but also proud.
The reason why is because it’s two and a half days before the holiday and I’m just about ready.
For once, I’m not exhausted, drained, depleted, or about to burn out like I did exactly nine years ago and ended up in the hospital with a rare autoimmune condition that nearly left me blind in one eye. I was released the day before Passover. (My house was cleaned by my a good friend, an angel in human form. At the time, she barely knew me but had compassion on a mother of three small children who had landed in the hospital, and she showed up, wings and all, to finish the cleaning for me and my family.)
Now instead of almost losing my sight, I see differently.
I give thanks to a variety of things that have helped me flow through these past couple of weeks with more ease than I’ve ever felt at this time.
First of all, I have a wonderful husband.
Also, this year I have been letting go a little more around the house and leaning on my kids to help out more. My 12-year-old son, Betzalel, was my kitchen cleaning help this past week. I could count on him to not cancel out at the last minute. Because I was able to find and trust the right help, I didn’t have to push myself and I could share the work and feel supported and more relaxed.
Before I tell you about the inner work I’ve been doing, I want to give more thanks where it is due. I’ve been supported energetically over the past weeks and months by my colleagues, some of the world’s most talented healers and miracle workers. As a result of the work I did with them, I was able to raise my vibration, release trauma, get even more in touch with my intuition and let go of subtle self-sabotage.
Now, regarding the inner work. Over the past couple of years I have been focusing on releasing perfectionism and rigidity. Driving myself too hard. Blame it on my Capricorn moon, and on all the Mars energy in my chart. The great desire and challenge here was to allow myself to flow through my life without getting stuck in a mental game of desperately needing certain things to look, be or feel a certain way. It was all about getting over the fear of losing something I desperately needed to hold on to. It was also about not being frustrated or disappointed that others didn’t conform to my beliefs or needs.
I remember feeling a sort of glass ceiling that was preventing me from being happy. I couldn’t touch it but I could sense it. I didn’t know the way, but i knew I wanted to get there.
So I prayed, I asked for Divine assistance, I spoke to my coaches, I found wonderful healers. And most of all I trusted. I trusted in the process of life.
The Divine has created a world where you are always unfolding into your fullest potential. Every moment, you are at the edge of that opportunity. The way through that gate is by desire, intention, and effort. Even if the only effort you can make is to ask for help.
And so after doing the work and getting the help I needed, I feel I’ve arrived at my next best version of myself, almost on the eve of the Holiday of Freedom, at a time in the history of the universe when we are able to tap into miracles at any moment.
So as I enjoy the sense of flow and flexibility over the next few days -- nothing short of a miracle for a natural-born type-A, high achieving woman -- I want to bless you with all my heart to open up to the possibility of more ease, flow and joy at this time and to receive divine abundance in all areas of your life.
Have a kosher and happy Passover! Chag kasher v’sameach.