My Story

If you’re anything like me, you know what it's like to be an over-achiever. My mom's friends used to tell me how they "saw me in the newspaper" -- as my photo often appeared in community news for music, drama, debate or honor society. I created my identify out of being "the best." I was a brilliant musician but treated music as a competitive art form, where I pushed myself, achieving the principal clarinetist seat in just about every orchestra, band and wind ensemble I played in, and won state and national honors and scholarships. On the other hand, to express my soul and process my emotions, I wrote songs and sang them in private. 

A crisis in my mid-twenties led me to yoga, which healed my body, mind and soul. I wanted so much to give this to others, so in spite of my Harvard education and Masters degree, I did my yoga certification, became an entrepreneur and taught yoga in every gym, women's fitness center and alternative healing venue I could find in the Boston area where I was living. Despite my students' delight, my spiritual nature, and my long list of accomplishments, I still felt empty inside. Not enough.

So I chose to commit to a religious lifestyle. Almost overnight. I convinced myself that I'd be acceptable in God's eyes, and I'd prove to myself that I was worthy. 

I felt an intuitive calling to go to Israel, and heard an intuitive calling to marry the man who is now my husband. As a mom I continued my legacy as an over-achiever, in anxious-stress-rushed mode most of the time. And no matter how much I did, it was never enough. My house was never as clean or organized as I wanted it to be. There was always so much to take care of. My family was all in the States with no one to help out. (And even if they were here to help, I may not have accepted it anyway!) 

The yoga went out the window. 

I found a mentor who taught me healing techniques, including Divine and quantum energy healing. Ironically, using these techniques was like a band-aid to help me pull it all together while I ran my life on an empty tank.  

At the time, I had three energetic children, ages four though eight. My husband often worked from morning until night, so most of the childcare was up to me. And even if he were available, I usually took charge. So I gave all I had to my family while putting my self-care on the back burner.

Especially when it came to eating and getting enough sleep. 

Not enough, not worthy... Not enough, not worthy...

I kept trying to heal myself but I refused to address my underlying limiting beliefs and mindsets. 

In the summer of 2009 I got excited about cleansing and became fanatical about raw food because I felt that even my intestines were not enough. Only I didn't have the energy to properly prepare food for myself, so I practically lived on fruit, vegetable sticks and rice cakes (which aren't even raw food).

At the time I was performing in a two-woman show which took up a lot of energy with performances and rehearsals.

Meanwhile, I dutifully walked my kids to and from school and kindergarten each day (even though we had a car -- so I could teach them to be independent). I pointed out the beauty of nature along the way to help develop their spirituality. I did art projects with them in the afternoon, made homemade whole-wheat pizza and baked cookies together. At bath time I would play word games to help them develop their language skills. I think I was trying to create for them the perfect life that I never had. After a whole day without any rest, at night I would read them a bedtime story (or two or three) with my eyes half-closed. Sometimes I had to ping-pong between bedrooms until I thought I would just drop.

At every moment possible I focused on giving to their bodies, minds and souls. And it was never enough!

I wish I could say that I was always calm and cheery as well. (Now I realize that's really the most important thing.)

But the reality is, I would lose my patience and get frustrated and angry, or I'd cry, because I was so burned out and malnourished -- a mother of three, I was at my weight from senior year in high school!  And I felt so distant from my husband, too...

And you know that “mom” thing, where you finally get the kids into bed…and you’re exhausted out of your mind…and you just want to have some time for yourself… 

So even though I was really tired, instead of going to bed I would just stay up on the computer. I’d force myself to stay up, not being productive, because I just didn’t have the head space or energy to do anything else.

And I kept thinking: I need to get away for a few days where someone will take care of me.

Well, guess what? I did get away for a few days. Because I landed in the hospital with a rare neurological condition, with inflammation of the brain, spinal cord, and optic nerve. And boy, did they take care of me! 

A doctor helped me navigate the MRI of my brain. He pointed out these unidentifiable bright objects, UBOs. It reminded me of UFOs. I nodded as I followed the explanation about the UBOs. Then I finally made the connection -- the picture of that brain was actually what was going on inside my own head. Those UFOs are flying around of me, inside my head! That was me! 

I literally had damage to my brain and was going blind. The Harvard grad, yoga teacher, alternative healing enthusiast, the I-can-do-everything-but-still-not-enough-mom. 

I did this to myself. 

I was scared. 

I didn't know what would be.

But there in the hospital, my intuitive voice spoke to me again. It was the same voice that told me to go to Israel, to marry my husband. Now the voice was telling me: You are already enough.  And I was comforted. I knew I'd be OK. 

So I decided to change my life. Do a complete turnaround. Recreate my relationship with myself.

I made the decision to get off of the hamster wheel I had created and learn how to live my life from a place of well-being. I made a personal commitment to become a happier and healthier mom -- not just for the sake of my family, but for myself.

So you could say that getting seriously ill saved my life.

I immersed myself into a powerful inward healing journey that deepened my inner guidance system and intuitive abilities to help others...and created an exquisitely profound relationship to the Divine. I finally took care of my body, mind, heart and soul. 

Women came to me for singing lessons, and I taught them how to find their inner voice while developing their outer one.  This spiritual work helped them find their soulmates and improve their marriage. One delighted client even conceived a child after trying for a few years! (I later discovered and developed an even deeper spiritual process that helps women achieve high levels of personal growth in a short period of time, which is the method I use now with my clients.)

After being guided by my mentor coach and several holistic practitioners, I announced my complete faith, with every cell of my being, that God could heal my last remnants of fatigue and weakness. That night I experienced a miracle healing -- my remaining symptoms disappeared! This miracle healing inspired the birth of our fourth child – a home birth that I finally had the courage for.

The outcome of that journey was abundance, serenity and joy.  We sold our house for a profit, moved to a beautiful place across the country, and finally own a house without a mortgage. I launched my coaching/healing business. My husband is realized his dream of becoming a professional writer. We enrolled our "emotionally rich" children at schools where they can express themselves and their creativity. One of our children has taught himself how to read English and develop his artistic skills. Another one is in touch with her love for singing and dancing. Another one has discovered his talent of working with his hands.

I am now able to see my family role as "lighting the way" by shining my spirit -- instead of always trying to micromanage the moment. 

Now with a greater sense of self-acceptance, I can navigate the natural cycles of life's ups and downs with greater self-awareness and unconditional love for myself. When thoughts of "not enough" and "not worthy" emerge, I can acknowledge them as guideposts and gateways to higher levels of alignment, joy, peace and freedom for myself and my family. I practice this by walking the path of personal transformation and healing every day.  

So, as you can see, my personal journey is the basis for the powerful work I do with my clients. I've been through emotional pain and physical discomfort to the other side. And with profound Divine connection, intuition, and honed skills, I help my clients get to the other side of their own overwhelm, overdrive and over-giving, too. Best of all, I show them how to navigate the journey for themselves.